Who, What & Why

This is me & my son Devon. I’m a Mamma of an adult child (I like to call him my man-child, but I don’t think he cares for that very much). Devon graduated from high school in ‘09, will be turning 20 this November and is starting his sophomore year at Seattle Pacific University in four weeks. Did I mention I think he's amazing? Cause I definitely do! Aaaand yes; for all those who gasp when I say I have a 19, almost 20 year old son - in fact I am young to have an adult kiddo… I had Devon when I was 17 afterall, and the math didn't change as he grew. (More on that later)

I’ve always wanted to write, but never really have. I don’t know if it’s because it hasn’t been a priority, or I’m lazy, or both. Probably both. And… I’m not sure exactly how this is gonna go - I’m feeling pretty green. I figure structure will follow over time, but considering my intent for this blog I’m not overly worried about it. As a side note: I am pretty sure I suck at grammar and that may be one of the reasons I have stayed in the shadows, but I’m not above having my grammar corrected. I often wish I could do school over again. (More later)

Can you imagine for a moment, being super-duper-duper-glued to someone, for life? I mean - attached at the hip in a way that not for one moment from the time you are born to the time you die will you ever be apart. I’m not talking as in marriage, or through bonding with your children, or close family relationships. I mean like Siamese Twins who share the same legs, the same arms, a heart, even a brain! This is far-fetched I know, but it’s the only way I can figure to describe what it’s like to live with ones self. It’s mind boggling to realize I live with my body, my brain, my heart and my soul 24/7/365.242199/80 (that’s a year to the decimal & a potential 80 years of life fyi) UGH!!! Looking at it that way it sounds miserable, and frankly scary! 

I have a million thoughts and questions in my head. I don’t usually just think something and then be done with it… I tend to mull everything over, research and study things to pieces. Sometimes I end up with answers or resolved ideas, but sometimes I don’t. That’s the black-hole of thought. None-the-less I’m a thinker, and thinking can be exhausting. I’ve had to learn to stop thinking at times lest the process become about whatever I want an answer to be. Sometimes I don’t know, don’t understand and just don’t get it… I’ve come to have a great sense of peace in that confusion. I don’t have to know! (More later)

My intent for this blog is pretty much to be honest, truthful and real about who I am, what I think, what I don’t know & don’t get. This doesn’t mean you all are going to know every corner of my life… There are some things I will only ever share with my spouse (more later), and a close circle of friends who I have felt led to share every intimate detail with. I trust them… I don’t necessarily trust you - and that’s just me being honest.

So I’m pretty excited. I can’t possibly vomit up everything in my head all at once, so it’ll be interesting to see what comes out in the time to come, and then someday look back on it. I hope to use this blog well.